A Wife's Letter
I got this from a friend who still works in Army Aviation. It came through official channels so I'm pretty sure it's not made up.
CSA asked that this be shared with all of you.
I recently represented you and the United States Army at the funeral for
SSG Greg McCoy, MP, assigned to the 410th MP Company, Fort Hood, Texas.
He was killed by an IED in Iraq on 9 November. As always the ceremony
was very moving, but especially poignant was the letter that his wife
read during the Service. The letter pretty much says it all about our
great Soldiers and families. The letter was published in the Waco
Tribune on 21 November.
A war widow remembers her husband
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Below is a letter written by Lori McCoy, wife of Army Staff Sgt. Gregory
McCoy and mother of two. Sgt. McCoy, a Riesel resident, was killed Nov.
9 by a roadside bomb in Baghdad. He was 26. His widow's letter was read
aloud during his memorial service Monday.
One question has been put before me time and time again in the past
That question is "Do I support the war?" Although my answer was the same
every time, I have felt that I did not fully explain why I answered the
way I did.
While we were in Germany, my husband told me that if he didn't get the
opportunity to deploy, he would not re-enlist. He felt like he was not
able to use his training and found himself looking for a way to fulfill
that uncertainness inside of him. Deep down, I knew that deploying was
what it would take for Greg to feel like a real Soldier. When that
opportunity was before us, I was excited for him. He was going to do
what he wanted to do and felt their mission was justified. I could not
imagine him not being able to participate in something he felt was his
Though I worried about him, I knew that he and his unit would do
everything possible to ensure their safety and I will never forget the
moment of his return from his first deployment. Starting that very day,
he was already referring to "when he went back."
There was something about deploying that really made Greg feel complete.
We have a beautiful family and a loving marriage, and I could never find
it in me to try to talk him out of something he felt was so important.
Greg definitely believed in his duty first. But before you think that is
inappropriate, let me say that the many absences we went through made
our relationship stronger, and made what time we were able to spend
together even more precious.
I never thought that Greg would not come home. To have thoughts like
that when your husband is gone would make every day unbearable and I
still had two little boys to care for. Through seven years of marriage,
I had shown Greg that I was capable of standing on my own two feet and
he never doubted my ability to care for us in his absence.
Even now, I feel comforted in knowing that Greg not only loved me but
trusted me enough to leave us.
So now, when I think about my answer to that question "do I support the
war?" this is what I say. It's not a matter of whether I support the
What matters is that I supported my husband in something that was so
important to him. I support the other Soldiers who served with him and
their families, who share in our sacrifice. I support the Soldiers of
the 410th Military Police Company specifically who, despite my husband's
death, continue with their mission, because I know Greg would want them
to complete it.
But I want to pose a question to those who hold the fate of our military
in their hands. Will you make my husband's death worth it? He died
believing that his mission was right and just. He was never afraid to
fight to defend our country and would have gone to the end of the earth
if that's where the Army needed him. If we allow our nation to feel like
this is a war we cannot win, we are saying that the price paid by my
husband and other Soldiers like him was paid in vain. As Americans, we
need to make sure that the end justifies the means.
To our family and friends and those who have been pillars of support
during this time, I want to thank you. But instead of mourning for us, I
want you to mourn for the people who were never blessed with knowing
Greg. He was a loving husband and doting father. He had an ability to
make anyone laugh and I feel regret for those who were never able to see
this in him.
I know several of you have said that you will always remember Greg. But
as his wife, I want to ask you that instead of just remembering him, you
never forget him. Never forget his bravery, courage and commitment to
Never forget what he sacrificed so that we might have a better life.
Never forget that what he died doing he believed in. But most of all,
never forget that men and women like him became heroes long before they
died. They became heroes when they enlisted.
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