Bob,
I know what you mean...
I had the same difficulties w/ mine (before I switched to the SLP) the first time I took it apart. Once you reassemble it once though you figure out a method and it's much easier after that.
From what I hear, the K&N is a snug fit in the stock air-box especially w/o the cut lid so that may explain what you are describing.
Sounds to me like you have it right though.
Sorry, that's all I got...
Jeff